How Can Our Love Go Wrong
by Calendulam
Summary: Kurt hosts a New Year's/Birthday costume party. Starts with the party and eventually devolves into drunken naughtiness, as these things are wont to do. Through the inebriated eyes of Kurt & Blaine with cameos by New Directions and random Warblers.
1. Prologue

I realize this has already been jossed as Kurt's birthday was visible on the NYADA application in 3x07. I say whatever. It was lazy of them to give him Chris Colfer's birthday anyway. :P (It also said he was born in 1993, which would make him eighteen on the show now and 19 when he graduates in June. That only makes sense if he failed a grade and come on, he's Kurt Hummel.)

This story is finished (it's about 13k words in total) and I will be posting the next three parts as quickly as I can edit them. It's basically drunken shenanigans and some smut. Happy Holidays!

I don't have anything to do with Glee. Title comes from 'Let's Start the New Year Right' by Bing Crosby. Feedback would be much appreciated. :)

xxx

How Can Our Love Go Wrong When We Start the New Year Right

**~Prologue: Wherein Burt Hummel is a sucker for fond memories and his late wife's eyes~**

Kurt Hummel was Lima Memorial's New Year's baby in 1994, born just one minute after midnight, bright red and shrieking like the mythological banshee.

Many things had changed in the almost eighteen years that had since passed, while others resembled those first moments of his young life in almost startling familiarity. As Burt Hummel watched his son pitch a fit in front of the family Christmas tree, face flushed and his voice rising in octave the more upset he became, the memory of that first amazing, ear piercing moment slammed into him like a freight train.

"Kurt, calm down," he said. "There's no need to get so worked up."

"I just want to have a party, Dad! I'm turning eighteen! And I've always been responsible so I don't see why you automatically say no! Do you not realize how many times Finn and I could have had a party during the campaign? And we never did!"

"I do know that, Kurt. And Carole and me, we're real appreciative of that, believe me. But don't pretend that you weren't up to any other funny business while we were out of town."

Kurt looked mortified, his eyes round as saucers. "So that's what this is about?"

"No, kiddo, it's not. I'm just not real comfortable with the thought of a whole bunch of underage kids getting drunk in my house." Kurt opened his mouth to protest but Burt held up a hand to silence him. "Don't go sayin' that nobody's gonna be drinking, Kurt. We both know that isn't true and you and me, we're past the point in our relationship where we lie to each other."

"Fine, there will probably be drinking. But Finn and Blaine and I will make sure no one drives or destroys the house and it won't even be that many people, Dad. I haven't had a single drink since that time in sophomore year, besides yesterday when I accidentally took a sip of Carole's spiked egg nog. I just want one night -"

"Kurt-"

"Dad, _it's my birthday_."

It's the eyes that get him. They're big and round and innocent and just the colour his mother's had been, so clear and bright as she looked up from their new baby wailing away in her arms. _Look, Burt, he has so much hair!_ It's always the eyes that get him - $300 designer sweaters, impractical knee high boots, vintage bowties off eBay, show tickets, new furniture, Lincoln Navigators for sixteenth birthdays.

Burt took off his cap and rubbed a hand over his head. Kurt had his hands clasped together and his lips pursed to hide the smile that was threatening to break through. He knew that he had won.


	2. One

****I finally had the chance to edit this first bit. It probably needs more editing, but I'm tired of looking at it. Let me know what you think! The actual party is in the next part.

xxx

**~One: Wherein the boys are sober and there are costumes and plans~**

"Okay, so I've decided that I want to have a costume party. I was originally thinking a traditional masquerade, but I think more of our friends could get behind the whole dress up scheme if they can pick a character instead of a mask. What do you think?"

It is a strange question to be asking, perhaps, as Kurt rolls off of Blaine's naked body, both of them still breathing heavily, sticky with sweat and come. "Is that what you were just thinking about?"

Kurt laughs breathlessly. "My mind changes direction very quickly."

"Mine really doesn't." Blaine curls into Kurt's side, pressing lips and tongue to the curve of his shoulder. "We should shower before Finn gets home from football practice." He slides one hand up Kurt's naked thigh and around his hip.

"Blaine! Tell me what you think of my party idea!"

"Of course I think it's amazing, Kurt. And I may even have an idea for a costume."

"Do tell."

"Uh uh. It's a secret. At least for now."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Fine. Come on then." He slaps Blaine lightly on the hip and rises to kneeling position. "I want to wash your hair."

"This is the best day ever!" Blaine tumbles off the bed and jumps to his feet like he had done it entirely on purpose.

"You're such a dork."

**xxx**

The entirety of New Directions are gathered in the choir room for a Last-Day-Before-Christmas-Holidays-Carol-Singalong when Kurt hands out the invitations. "I know I'm giving you less than two weeks to organize your costumes and I'm sorry. It took me a while to convince my dad to let me have a party. If anyone needs costume advice, please feel free to come to me."

There is a buzz of excitement in the room and not even one complaint is uttered about the mandatory costumes. And why would they complain? It's a New Year's Eve party. It's a New Year's Eve party with alcohol.

Tina gets up from her seat to give Kurt an enthusiastic hug, telling him that it's the best idea ever and _Oh my God_,_ what is she going to wear?_ He promises to help with her costume as well as some last minute shopping the next day and Blaine nods with him – they had already planned on going to the mall for party supplies.

Rachel jumps into the conversation and invites herself along, practically knocking Blaine out of the way so she can cuddle up next to Kurt. Blaine knows how relieved she's been ever since they patched things up, but sometimes it bothers him when she does things like that. _When Kurt and I are living together in New York... When Kurt and I get into NYADA_... He remembers Kurt telling him about their tearful breakdown and promises to each other after the NYADA mixer in the fall. _You make me want to be your boyfriend. _He tells himself to stop being so ridiculous and smile at Rachel because she's beginning to notice the look on his face and she will have no problem bringing it up very bluntly and any moment now.

**xxx**

Somehow between party stores and fabric shops and _Macy's_ to buy Tina's mother a scarf, they end up at _Victoria's Secret_ helping the girls pick out underwear. Well, Kurt is helping the girls pick out underwear while Blaine fidgets and holds all of the shopping bags.

"With a costume that sexy, I need to be sure that what Finn finds underneath at the end of the evening is just as titillating." Kurt cringes both when Rachel says the words "_Finn_" and "_titillating_" and Blaine tries to hide his grin against his own shoulder as his hands are full to bursting.

"Go with the black lace, Rachel. They're timeless." Kurt snatches the pair of pink frilly monstrosities out of her hands and tosses them on the table. "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

Rachel gives Kurt an angry glare and two pink spots blaze into existence, one on each of his cheekbones. "Well, besides the Sad Clown Hooker makeover. But we're friends now!"

"Fine. I'm going to need everyone's honest opinion."

"Me, too!" Tina says, holding up her own delicates that Kurt has chosen – a white bustier and silk panties to match her Roman Goddess costume that is in one of the many bags. Blaine is about to chime in and agree with Kurt that their choices are both lovely when his three companions begin walking towards the back of the store.

He catches Kurt by the elbow. "You're going with them to the change rooms?"

Kurt shrugs. "Of course."

"While they try on underwear."

"It's nothing I haven't seen before. Wait, are you upset about this?"

Blaine lowers his eyes, embarrassed by the incredulous tone of Kurt's voice. He knows he shouldn't be, but he kind of is.

"I love them to bits, but Blaine, they're girls. Believe me, honey, there is no way that the experience is going to be _titillating_ in the least."

"I know. I'm being stupid."

"No you aren't," Kurt reassures. "If it bothers you, I won't. They can tell each other yay or nay."

"It's okay. Go." He motions Kurt forward. "I'll wait outside like your faithful pack mule."

Kurt laughs and it's music to Blaine's ears. "You come in, too. They want your opinion."

"Now that I _am_ uncomfortable with. Go on without me, please."

Kurt laughs again at Blaine's red face and ducks into the fitting rooms. Their voices drift out from under the door and Blaine leans in to listen. He hears Rachel deride Kurt for taking so long and Tina telling him it's fine.

"You see, they're perfect, Rachel," Kurt is saying. "Perfect cleavage, your butt looks great. And Tina, you look like a Goddess. Tell Mike he's welcome from me."

Tina laughs sweetly and says she'll be sure to. "Where's Blaine?" Rachel asks. "I want his opinion of my cleavage, too."

"Blaine was a little uncomfortable with the idea of seeing the two of you in your skivvies and is waiting outside."

"He's probably just worried he'll be confused again -" Rachel begins, only to be cut off by Kurt's slightly angry voice and Blaine could kiss him for stopping her before she could complete her thought.

"No, I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want to see your cleavage, Rachel."

"And you do?"

"Fashion is fashion. Even underthings are important. Now get dressed, ladies. We still have much to do."

As they're walking by _Calvin Klein_ Blaine makes a joke about Kurt needing to stop in for his perfect under-costume briefs and Kurt chuckles. Blaine knows that Kurt is aware that he is searching for a small hint, trying to sniff out his costume, but Kurt isn't about to let anything slip.

"Oh, there's no way I'm going to be able to wear anything under my costume at all. I will be au naturel that evening." Kurt smirks as Blaine stutters over his reply, dropping a bag of tea lights in the middle of the hallway. Kurt bends over and retrieves it for him before sauntering forward to catch up with Rachel and Tina, his hips swaying from side to side. Blaine swallows thickly and follows after them. It's going to be a long day.

Blaine is sitting in the food court waiting for life-sustaining caffeine when a group of Warblers spot him. "Hey, guys!" he greets them with a smile. "What are you all doing here?"

"Looking for costumes for Kurt's party," Jeff says. "I think I'm decided on a Spartan warrior. What do you think?"

Blaine takes in his lanky frame and laughs. "I'm sure we can all suspend disbelief for one evening."

"Hey!" Jeff protests as the other boys begin to loudly quote lines from _300_.

Sebastian leans down next to Blaine and nudges one of the lingerie bags with his foot. "_Victoria's Secret_, huh? Kinky."

He and Kurt had talked about whether or not to single out the Warblers Kurt is closest to and invite only them, but Blaine was worried about hurting anyone's feelings. And once they started a list _Nick and Jeff and Thad and Trent and Richard and..._ soon it was pretty evident that the only Warbler they wanted to leave out was Sebastian. They decided that it would be petty to invite the rest and not him; they're sure that with so many people Sebastian will be easy enough to ignore for one evening and will simply blend into the background along with everything else that doesn't matter. Blaine sort of regrets that decision as Sebastian takes the seat next to him, all the while giving him that predatory look that makes Blaine want to jump in the shower and scrub off several layers of skin.

Blaine rolls his eyes and shifts his chair away from Sebastian. "I'm playing the part of pack mule today," he explains and motions towards Kurt and the girls, laughing as they add sweetener to their coffees and begin making their way over to the table.

"I'm sure you do it admirably," Sebastian says with a wink. Blaine tries to smile but only manages a sort of grimace. He knows Kurt is going to turn icy the moment he spots Sebastian and he hates it. He hates that Kurt has this persona he uses to hide his feelings, hates the reasons he's had to fabricate it in the first place.

Kurt sets Blaine's coffee down in front of him and drops a quick peck on the top of his head. "Extra cinnamon," he says sweetly, and proceeds to introduce Tina and Rachel to the assembled Warblers.

He is certain that Kurt has told the girls all about Sebastian when he catches the look that passes between them after he shakes each of their hands wearing a cocky smile. He both does and does not want to know what Kurt has said to them. He sincerely hopes that he left out the bit about the gay bar.

**xxx**

At first all Blaine can see is gauze and branches and unnaturally green eyes. It's Kurt, he realizes. Kurt is staring down at him through pale green contacts that should be unsettling but are somehow sensual. His face has a milky green quality to it as well, all of his exposed skin is dusted to look this way. He is wearing light green leggings and a zinging tight sleeveless top all made of some sort of gauzy fabric. There are branches curled every which way over his body and painted on his bare skin. Even his feet are bare and dusted with the same beautiful luminescence. Blaine's eyes drift back up Kurt's toned body to his gorgeous face and glitter filled hair where there rests a horned crown ringed with ivy.

"What are you?" Blaine asks. He sounds breathless. Awed. "Besides ridiculously beautiful."

Kurt leans in and kisses him lightly on the nose. "I'm Cernunnos. The Green Man. The Horned One. God of the Forest, basically."

"Wow."

Kurt laughs and throws back his crowned head. "And who are you, my dear?"

"Oh." Blaine reaches into his pocket for his glasses and places them on the bridge of his nose. "I'm Clark Kent," he says. He pops open the first few buttons of his shirt to expose the Superman symbol beneath.

"Superman, huh? I can see that." He gives Blaine a cheeky little wink and turns away. "Come on. I need some help in the kitchen. Finn is gone to Puck's to pick up the beer and I need someone to taste test the punch."

Blaine stands frozen in the entryway, unable to follow. It's just... _Kurt's ass_. It's just there, is all. There in all its spectacular glory. The only thing covering it is a pair of very thin, filmy tights and _God_, there is absolutely no way that he is wearing underwear. He hadn't been kidding about the _au naturel_. Some of the branches bend and twist around his waist and hips, coming around to gather in front, strategically placed to cover his crotch, but his ass is all but exposed. How is Blaine ever going to manage to get through the evening when Kurt is walking around looking like that?

"Blaine, aren't you coming?" Kurt gives him an odd look, his eyes unreadable behind those strange, alluring lenses.

_In my pants_, Blaine nearly answers, but nods instead and follows Kurt to the kitchen.

**xxx**

"God, Kurt. I seriously don't think I can make it through the night." Blaine is watching as Kurt bends down to slide a Tupperware container full of beads and jewels and glitter under his bed. "I _know_ I'm not going to make it though the night," he amends. "You're just so..." The only descriptor he can manage is a choked off sort of whimper.

Kurt glances back over his shoulder and quirks a naughty eyebrow at him and God, those freaky contacts are hot and that is _not helping_. "What do you want to do?" he asks.

Blaine makes grabby hands at Kurt's ass and Kurt turns to face him. "No way. Do you know how long it took me to get ready? I do not have time to do it all again."

"Well can you at least take off those branches so I can get at your dick? Because I really need to blow you right now."

"And how is that going to help you?"

"I'm not really worrying about that at the moment." Kurt is unwinding the branches and placing them carefully on his desk and _Jesus_, those tights leave nothing to the imagination. At all. "I'll just jerk off while I'm... yeah." Blaine licks his lips and drops to his knees in front of Kurt. He runs his hands slowly up Kurt's muscular thighs and around to squeeze his ass. In between the shirt and tights there is a sliver of skin exposed which Blaine runs his thumb over, following it with his mouth. He can feel Kurt's stomach muscles tighten under his lips as Kurt sucks in a breath. Blaine slides his fingers under the waistband of the tights and tugs a little, his tongue darting out to swirl under the clinging fabric. He pulls back upon hearing Kurt call his name, only just noticing that the skin of Kurt's abdomen is green as well.

"Blaine," Kurt says again, his voice low and husky.

Blaine looks up from his study of Kurt's stomach and slides the the shirt up farther and wow, Kurt's entire torso is milky green and shimmering. "Sorry," he says. "Bit distracted."

"Clearly," Kurt says with a gravelly laugh. "It's air-brushed on. It was easier to just put it everywhere." Blaine bugs out his eyes and reaches immediately for the waistband of the tights. "Well, nearly everywhere," Kurt corrects himself. "I was wearing briefs when I painted myself."

Blaine groans and dives down to nuzzle against the bulge in Kurt's tights. "Blaine!" Kurt gasps. "Wait. It's just... umm... you can't... You'll make a mess of our costumes if you... We can both..."

"Blow each other?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. But I need to go first. I need you _now_."

"Well, I thought that maybe we could... at the same time. We never have before."

"_Oh my God_." Blaine is so eager to climb up off his knees that he stumbles a bit. "_I love you_," he says and Kurt laughs as he is nudged towards the bed.

They're lying facing each other at first, kissing deep and slow. Kurt's lips are green like the rest of him and it's strange to see his tongue dart out of his mouth, pink and warm against the pale coldness of the paint. Blaine wonders whether Kurt's paint is transferring onto his face but as Kurt tilts his head and presses his tongue, wet and insistent, against Blaine's own, he finds that he doesn't care. Blaine slides his hand into Kurt's tights and grasps his cock, Kurt moaning brokenly into his mouth.

"We need to -" Kurt flips himself around so his head is near Blaine's hips and begins to pull at his belt. "Stupid Finn will be back soon."

Blaine wastes no time pulling Kurt's tights down over his pert ass and pressing his mouth, open and wet, on Kurt's cock.

"Jesus, Blaine!" Kurt gasps. "Give me a minute. You're wearing more clothes than I am."

"That's a first."

"Guess we can cross that off of our list, too. And also-" He pushes Blaine's pants and underwear away at last and sinks his mouth down over Blaine's cock.

Blaine moans around Kurt, the pleasure increasing the excitement and power he always feels with Kurt in his mouth.

Kurt's hands are gripping Blaine's ass and he's taking him in deep and Blaine is finding it so, so difficult to concentrate on sucking and sliding his mouth up and down Kurt's shaft when, oh God, Kurt just hummed around his cock and Blaine is pretty sure that's the back of his throat that he can feel right there.

He sucks harder around Kurt, taking him deeper as Kurt does the same and it is so perfect, this give and take, and Blaine kind of loves it.

It isn't long before they're both coming, swallowing around each other and gasping and Kurt is laughing breathlessly because Finn is calling him from downstairs. "We should probably brush our teeth," he says, zipping Blaine back into his pants. Blaine agrees, though he really kind of wants to protest. He runs his tongue around the inside of his mouth and finds that he quite likes the taste of Kurt and wonders if Kurt would think that that is weird.


	3. Two

Here's the party. I guess I should warn for drunken stream-of-consciousness. And also smut. Oh, and I just realized that David did not graduate along with Wes. I'm going to pretend that he did.

I don't own Glee.

~0~

**~Two: Wherein the boys are drunk and damn, rum-soaked grapes are delicious~**

Blaine isn't sure how he has gotten so drunk so fast. Truthfully, Blaine isn't sure he's all that drunk, but Kurt told him he is and he's learned to take Kurt's word on his state of drunkenness as fact after the last time. He groans just thinking about it and sticks his lip out.

"What are you pouting about?" Kurt asks. He is smiley and giggly and adorable and sexy and delicious. At least Blaine thinks he's delicious. It's been whole minutes and hours and _days_ since he's had his tongue on Kurt to know for sure. Well, not actual days, but it feels like it to Blaine.

He presses his face into Kurt's neck by way of answer and takes a sniff of his collar bone. He smells good enough to eat. Blaine decides that answers the question about his level of deliciousness.

"Did you just smell me?"

"You're delicious."

Kurt giggles and Blaine smiles against his skin. "Just don't go sniffing anyone else around here, or I'll throw you out in the snow to sober you up."

"Why would I sniff anyone but you?" Blaine is confused. No one smells good like Kurt.

"Because Blaine plus alcohol equals... well, let's just say touchy feely. It sounds much nicer than easy or slutty. I have one of my branches fashioned into a shank in case anybody tries to get all up on you."

Blaine rolls to the side and looks up at Kurt, eyelashes fluttering flirtatiously. "Are you protecting my virtue?"

Kurt snorts. "I seem to remember ridding you of that a couple of months ago, sweetheart."

"Mmmm." Blaine's eyes go far away, focusing on that glorious memory. "Not to mention a couple of hours ago. You're my favourite."

"You're my favourite, too," Kurt says and kisses him on the nose. Kurt is lovely. Blaine sighs happily and is pulled up to dance by Santana and Brittany.

~0~

The doorbell is chiming. Kurt goes to get it after a moment, leaving behind his primo front row seat to the hilarious _Blaine and The New Directions Girls Show_. Blaine's dancing is becoming more and more spastic and Kurt should probably worry about something getting broken or someone being injured, but it's too funny and Blaine too adorable for him to care.

He feels tall as he makes his way to the front door, tall and graceful, willowy. He doesn't feel the same numb discontent and vague nausea that he had when drinking the Chablis April Rhodes had given him. He feels good. The air is buzzing with electric happiness and his friends are having a good time and in a few hours he will be eighteen.

There are Warblers outside his door. And not the bird kind, the human ones. He laughs to himself and gives them a wave. "Hello, boys."

"Kurt, what... What are you wearing?" Nick asks. He sounds shocked.

"You're one to talk. Is that a Crawford Country Day uniform?"

"Hey, Blaine said you only threatened to set us on fire if we showed up wearing _Dalton_ uniforms, he said nothing about any other school's."

Kurt snorts. "Oh, Nicholas, I just adore you," he says. Nick is decked out in full school girl attire, right down to the knee socks and saddle shoes. "Did you even shave your legs?"

Now he looks embarrassed. "Well, yeah. I didn't want to look, you know, too manly."

The assembled boys crack up laughing and Jeff pokes a plastic spear out from the back of the crowd. "To the beer!" he says in a terrible attempt at an English accent.

Kurt steps to the side and motions them all forward. Sebastian sidles up beside him on the way to the kitchen. "Well, well, look at you." Kurt makes a disgusted face that Sebastian does not see, distracted as he is by Kurt's flimsy coverings.

"James Dean?" Kurt goes for a little bit derisive and a lot unimpressed. "How typical."

"But you knew who I was." Sebastian is grinning in that cocky way of his that makes Kurt want to punch him in the face. Or he does have that handy shank... "It's a shame you've got all that lumber covering you up. A real shame."

"You're a pig and I don't like you. I'm going to go talk to my friends now." Kurt mentally slaps himself. That insult was weak; the alcohol is hindering his snark. He also promised himself not to let Sebastian get to him tonight.

He looks over as Sebastian answers, smarmy grin still in place. "You do that. Just point me in the direction of your boyfriend first if you would."

"I'll point you in the direction of a socket wrench upside the head," Kurt mumbles under his breath and follows after the other Warblers.

He shows them where all of the drinks and mix are and introduces them to Puck who is lounging against the counter. "There's beer out on the back deck. Please drink it before it explodes. My brother put it out there to cool faster. He's as dumb as a box of rocks but we love him anyway."

"You can say that again," Puck agrees.

"Blaine!" Kurt calls into the living room, trying to be heard over the music. "Blaine! Baby, the Warblers have landed!"

"Very funny," he hears one of them mutter.

"Dude, what do you expect?" Puck asks. "You're named after birds."

There is a ruckus in the next room and he hears Blaine holler that he's coming. "Oh my God, look! He's covered in Kurt's green stuff!" _Rachel_. Kurt rolls his eyes and Puck snorts a laugh. "It's even _under_ his clothes!"

The girls begin a chorus of _ooohhhhsss_ amidst the laughter in the room. Blaine lets out one terrified "Aaaahhh!" before stumbling through the kitchen entryway with his pants undone and both of his shirts rucked up.

Kurt catches him before he falls and begins fixing his costume. "They molested me," Blaine says. "They found your green paint stuff. It's all over me. I went to pee awhile ago and it's even on my -"

Kurt places a finger over Blaine's lips to shush him and Blaine sucks it into his mouth. "Baby, be good," Kurt whispers, tucking in Blaine's shirts and buttoning his pants.

"Why are you doing my pants _up_? Is time going backwards? Like in rewind?"

Kurt sighs and motions with his head to the Warblers in his kitchen. Blaine looks up from where Kurt is fastening his belt and his pout transforms into a wide, toothy grin. "Hey guys!"

"Damn, Blaine, you are plas-tered," Jeff says.

"Psshh," Blaine says, waving his hand in the air. "I am n-" Kurt nods him. "Oh right, I totally am. I just remembered! I don't know how, though. I didn't even drink that much." He plops himself down on a stool and uses the ladle to fish some fruit out of the punch. "The grapes are the best," he informs the room at large.

"Blaine, are you the one who's been eating all the fruit?" Kurt asks. It finally makes sense – he hasn't seen Blaine drink more than three glasses of punch and there hasn't been some oily creep swapping out his empties the way Sebastian had at _Scandals_. Blaine nods and pops another grape into his mouth."That fruit has been soaking in rum for two days. No wonder you're wasted."

"Kurt!" Finn is calling from the living room and he sounds panicked. Kurt sighs and downs the rest of his drink. He gives Blaine a peck on the cheek and slaps a piece of pineapple out of his hand before going to find his idiot brother.

~0~

Blaine looks sadly at the pineapple he's dropped before realizing Kurt is leaving. And his hips are swaying. And his ass... He makes grabby hands at it but Kurt keeps on leaving. Blaine thinks it would be awesome if they had some sort of psychic link so Kurt would know not to leave and take his beautiful, beautiful ass away from Blaine's waiting hands.

"I don't want him to go," he says aloud. "But boy do I ever love watching him walk away. That is the best ass on the continent. The Northern Hemisphere. The _World_." Blaine feels sleepy. He rests his head on the counter top and stares at the space Kurt has just vacated.

"I hear you, brother," Puck says. "If I was into dudes I'd be all over Kurt like an anorexic chick on a packet of Splenda."

Blaine shoots up in his seat. Oh, he's dizzy. Also he's shaking his head as he glares at Puck and that is so not helping and Puck has some weird glitter on his face and a star over his eye and Blaine is pretty sure he is wearing tights. "Mine," he says.

"Chill, dude. I'm not into him. I'm just saying that I would be if that was the way the good lord made me. I'm just agreeing with you, man. I get it."

"Totally," Jeff agrees. "Kurt is hot."

Blaine's friends are all nodding and saying that they wouldn't kick Kurt out of bed for eating crackers. Blaine is confused and doesn't know who he should be glaring at the hardest. "If you traitors are finished confessing your straight-boy crushes on my boyfriend, would you kindly shut up."

His friends are laughing at him and fuck it, those grapes are really good and he is totally eating more of them. Screw sobriety.

"Just for the record," Trent says, twirling his fake moustache. "The crush I have on your boyfriend is 100% gay."

Blaine groans and drops his head back down on the counter. "Ow," he says a moment later. That is probably going to leave a mark.

~0~

"Kurt, thank God!" Finn rushes over to meet him. There is a breeze blowing through the room and it reeks of beer. "It's the beer!" Of course it is.

The cans of beer that Finn had placed in the snow on the deck have exploded all over the place: the deck itself, the trees, the porch swing, it is even splattered on the french doors. Kurt sighs. "Way to go, genius," he says.

"You don't have to be mean," Finn whines. He looks so ridiculous with half of his Frankenteen makeup wiped off his face and one of his neck bolts hanging precariously that Kurt can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I know. I just feel like it."

Finn smiles crookedly and shrugs. "I thought I should maybe hose it all down but Rachel thinks that's a bad idea."

"Unless you want to make a skating rink, Rachel's right. Did they _all_ explode?"

Finn nods, looking sheepish. "I didn't realize what the bangs were at first."

"Well, just leave it then. We can figure something out tomorrow. Maybe the sun will melt it a little and it won't be too hard for _you_ to clean up."

"Of course, bro!" Finn slaps him on the back and grins.

"And close the door, Finn. It's freezing." Rachel smiles at him gratefully, shivering away in her Cleopatra costume.

"Kurt, come dance with us," Rachel says. Lady Gaga has just started and Kurt is very tempted to join in but Blaine is in the kitchen and he is so beyond wasted.

"I can't. That creep Sebastian is lurking and Blaine is out of it. I should keep an eye on him. I don't trust that guy as far as _you_ could throw him."

"I'll go," Tina says. "Are they in the kitchen? You dance and have fun." She pushes Kurt into the fray before he can even say thank you and throws a wink over her shoulder as she leaves the room. Kurt is relieved. Tina is level-headed and seems fairly sober. Someone grabs his arm and pulls him forward and he's sandwiched between Mike and Brittany shaking his ass and laughing.

~0~

Thad is going on and on about how pizza is not a vegetable and every time Blaine looks away from his crazy eyes Sebastian is closer and closer. He feels claustrophobic. He wants to go outside but it's started to snow and it's cold and he doesn't know where his coat is.

"How are you doing, Blaine?" Tina's voice is sweet and clear like bells. He looks up at her – so much white and gold.

"You're pretty," he informs her.

She laughs and that is pretty, too. "I'm going to get you a bottle of water, okay Blaine?"

"I know what your underwear looks like," he says instead of answering her. There is a voice in his head telling him to stop talking but it's muffled and far away and he should probably just ignore it. "Kurt picked out your underwear. Kurt isn't even wearing underwear, so why am I still in this room? Underwear is a weird word."

"Oh God, you really are trashed," Tina says and she looks kinda worried. Blaine wants to tell her not to be; he wants to reach out and rub the little furrow between her eyebrows like his grandmother used to do to him when he was little.

"I feel like I could ask you anything right now and you would tell me the honest to God truth," Puck says. "With none of your usual sugar-coating bullshit."

Blaine shrugs. Seems like a good idea. Honesty is important. "Hit me."

"No, Puck," Tina warns. Puck mouths something that looks like _later_ at him and Blaine lays his head back on the counter.

"How long have you been hitting that killer punch Kurt made?" Tina asks.

"I dunno. Hours. What time is it?" He looks around for a clock and sees that Sebastian is behind Tina and she is keeping him away. Blaine loves Tina. He doesn't want Kurt to be mad.

Tina opens a water bottle and hands it to him and God, it's so refreshing and Thad is still going on about the damn pizza and no, Flint, tomatoes are not vegetables. "A tomato is a fruit," he tells them. The kitchen is obviously a breeding ground for idiots and he needs to get out of there. He looks over at Tina's smiley face and yes, he thinks, she could be his saviour. "Can we go outside? I want to see the snow."

"Okay, let's go find coats," she says and helps Blaine down from his stool. He is dizzier now that he's on his feet. Fresh air sounds like absolute bliss.

"No one else is invited," he says loudly and that was probably rude. He means Sebastian, but he also doesn't want crazy Thad and his pizza conversation invading the peace and quiet of the falling snow.

The coat he finds doesn't actually belong to him. The sleeves are too long and cover most of his hands and it zips up instead of buttoning. But Blaine doesn't care as he floats along in his haze and Tina says it's alright and Tina always knows.

They end up out on the front step and the snow looks so lovely and clean and fresh. Blaine takes a big breath and sighs happily. It's a beautiful night.

"That guy was really bothering you, wasn't he?" Tina asks.

"Yeah. Kurt hates him." Blaine can't stand the thought of Kurt's party being ruined by something that he has done. He hopes he didn't do anything. Like when he'd been dancing and it made Kurt upset when he didn't even know it at the time.

"And what about you? How do you feel about him?"

"He embarrasses me. Makes me feel the bad kind of dirty. You know, like not in the fun way. He always stares at me and smiles and... _gross_. Do you know that he tried to get me to cheat on Kurt? Why would I ever do that? He must be crazy. He's dirty _and_ crazy. _It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you, _he trashy. Yes, Sebastian, it does bother me thank you very much." Huh, Blaine is more upset about it than he realized.

Tina's warm hand finds Blaine's under the too-long sleeve and squeezes it. "I'm glad to hear you say that," she says. "I wouldn't want Kurt to ever be hurt."

The thought of someone hurting Kurt brings tears to Blaine's eyes. He loves Kurt so much. He tells Tina so.

"I love Kurt, too. He's one of my best friends." She looks as sad as Blaine suddenly feels. She is in the same boat as he is, Blaine realizes. Mike is leaving for some far off school next year, too. And Tina and Blaine will be stuck at McKinley without them.

"Next year when we're waiting to be with them," Blaine says, "You and me, we can be best friends."

"Yeah we can," she agrees and Blaine is enveloped in her soft, warm, honey-scented body as she hugs him to her. She smells like his mom and it makes him hold on extra tight.

~0~

The sweaty mass of bodies around Kurt are truly disorienting. Quite a few Warblers have left their kitchen haven and are now mingling freely with the McKinley students. He spots Jeff having a sword fight with his fellow warrior, Sam and Trent and Artie waving their arms in the air to the music next to the french doors. Even Sebastian has given up on his Blaine stalking and is lounging in a corner looking smarmy and bored. Blaine is nowhere to be found and Kurt mentally high-fives Tina. He is totally buying her those crazy boots she'd been drooling over on eBay.

Devil Quinn and Kitty Brittany are gathered around a very pleased looking Nick, admiring his uniform and feeling the smoothness of his bare thighs. Quinn throws her head back and laughs at something Brittany says and Nick watches them with his mouth hanging open in shock.

"Who's your tranny friend?" Santana asks, her eyes glaring daggers as Brittany runs a hand up under Nick's skirt.

"That's offensive, Santana," Kurt informs her. "You've really got to stop doing that."

"Yeah, well I don't give a single fuck at the moment," she spits.

"Maybe you shouldn't have convinced her that it wasn't cheating if the parts were different." Kurt knows he is putting salt in the wound, but Santana needs to learn her lesson somehow. Brittany may not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but it's not okay to take advantage of that fact. Kurt still feels guilty about doing it himself, even if he hadn't actually enjoyed the results.

"Oh screw you, you superior bitch." Santana throws back the remainder of her drink and slams the red solo cup down on the nearest surface. It's too light to have the effect she is going for. "And just so you know, if he touches her, I will cuts him."

She storms out of the room and Kurt sighs. He thinks he prefers weepy-drunk Santana to angry-drunk Santana.

Someone grabs Kurt from behind and swings him around. He feels sloppy lips kiss the top of his head and smells beer-stink breath in his face. "Happy almost-birthday, bro!" He stumbles when Finn sets him back on his feet. "Love you!" Finn declares happily and wanders off to where Rachel is lying across Mercedes on the sofa.

Finn really is like a large, idiotic puppy dog. Kurt chuckles to himself and sips his drink, watching as he tries to snuggle in next to Rachel and Mercedes and tumbles to the floor.

"Shame Blaine wasn't around to see that cute little moment." Kurt rolls his eyes. Sebastian is nothing if not persistent. "Do you think he would be jealous? Maybe he might want to seek out a little retribution."

"That's my brother, you imbecile. But do keep grasping at those straws."

Kurt walks away with his nose in the air – and who cares if it's just to stop Richard from putting that lampshade on his head? He still totally wins.

~0~

Tina is taking really long to get that new bottle of water and Blaine is starting to get cold. He thinks maybe he should go back in and find her, but the snow is falling heavier now, the flakes huge and shimmering in the streetlights, and he doesn't really want to.

He starts when the door flings open. "What are _you_ doing out here?" Santana growls.

Blaine smiles at her. Her pointy hat thing and her makeup and her robes. She looks awesome. "Maleficent is my favourite Disney villain," he says.

She looks up from digging through her pockets. "Bully for you." She makes a triumphant noise when she finds what she was looking for. There is a spark and then smoke; Blaine crinkles his nose at the smell. "Guess I should have dressed as her in dragon form," Santana says between puffs on her cigar. "Since I'm basically the dragon lady anyway."

"Nah." Santana looks sad and Blaine can't seem to come up with anything better to tell her. He wants to give her a hug but suspects she'll burn him with her cigar if he tries.

"Sure I am. Nobody likes me."

"I like you." And Blaine isn't even just saying that. Most of the time he finds her funny, and she's an amazing singer and he can see how much she loves Brittany. Anyone who can love like that is a good person in his books.

Santana snorts. "You like everyone."

"No I don't. I only pretend to like some people."

"Well, I only pretend to like most people so maybe we've got more in common than I thought."

She is smiling now, and not in her usual scary way. Blaine likes it when she smiles like this. It makes him think that even in a crappy little town under miserable circumstances, people can find small moments of happiness.

She takes another slow drag on her cigar and lets the smoke billow out of her mouth in a long, thin trail. The smell is kind of soothing actually, pungent and earthy. "Can I try that?" he asks.

"Only if you're sure, Sweet 'n' Low. If your boyfriend bitches me out later you are totally taking the blame."

Blaine smiles at her and she passes it over, warning him not to suck the smoke into his lungs. He presses it to his lips and inhales slowly. He thinks he is doing what she says but a second later he is choking while she laughs and smacks him on the back.

"It tastes like evil," he complains once he's regained the ability to talk. The inside of his mouth feels gross as he runs his tongue along his teeth. "_Blah_."

Santana's laughing loudly at him now but he doesn't even care. He likes her happy, even if it's at the expense of his throat. It's burning still and he vaguely remembers something about water. "I wanna brush my teeth," he tells her. "We should go to Kurt's bathroom."

"Well I gotta pee, so that works." She puts her cigar out in the snow that has collected on the porch railing and follows Blaine inside.

The door to Kurt's bathroom has been closed all night. Kurt wants to be sure that no one defiles it in any way or gets into his stuff. Finn's bathroom is fair game since it's disgusting anyhow and he hasn't got anything in there but Old Spice, Head and Shoulders and Axe body wash.

But Blaine is sure Kurt didn't mean _him_ when instituting the ban. Even still, he is as quiet as a mouse when he sneaks Santana in there. He doesn't want anyone to follow after them and use the room to puke in after they leave or anything.

Blaine hops up on the counter once they've shut themselves inside and sprays Kurt's cologne into the air just to smell him.

Santana checks her makeup in the mirror. "So, you having fun? Why were you hanging out in the snow anyway?"

"I just needed some air. The party's great but..." Too many people. Not enough Kurt. Blaine misses Kurt badly. He feels like he hasn't seen him in hours. "I kinda wish everyone would just clear out and leave me and Kurt." He picks up a jar of Kurt's moisturizer and screws off the lid.

"And what would you do with Kurt in that naughty little outfit of his and an empty house?" Santana's eyebrow is cocked knowingly and Blaine grins at her.

"Have lots and lots of dirty sex."

She grins at his reflection in the mirror and fishes a tube of lipstick out of her pocket. "Is that something you do often?"

"Whenever we get the chance. Like earlier today..." Blaine watches her reapply her lipstick for a moment. Something feels weird. He should shut up. "I probably shouldn't tell you about that."

"Is that why you're covered in green stuff and glitter?"

Blaine's eyes lose focus, staring into the jar of cream. He's back between Kurt's thighs with Kurt between his and he's in that moment when he'd been about to come but knew he had to keep going so Kurt could get off with him... "I'd be covered in a lot more if I hadn't swallowed... Did I just say that out loud?" _Oops_.

Santana throws her head back; her laughter is loud and high pitched. "I'm gonna pee in front of you now, Don Juan," she says.

"Whatever," Blaine agrees. "I won't look."

"Such a gentleman."

He roots around in Kurt's medicine cabinet and finds his toothbrush. His mouth still tastes of ash and he should probably do something about that.

"Using your boyfriend's toothbrush?" Santana asks while washing her hands. "How adorable."

"Nope, it's mine. I've got my own toothbrush in Kurt's bathroom." He can't stop smiling about it. Every time he uses it it makes him ridiculously happy. "He bought it for me."

"Might as well be an engagement ring the way you're carrying on."

"Yep," Blaine agrees, even if she is just being facetious. "Almost as good."

Santana looks through Kurt's cosmetics while Blaine brushes his teeth. "I have to pee now," he says once he's finished, his words muffled as he wipes his mouth on a towel.

"Do what you gots ta," Santana says. She's found an eyeliner she seems to like and is trying it out.

Blaine stumbles a little getting his pants down and doesn't bother trying to pull them back up around his ass once they've slipped. He may have bothered if he had known Santana was watching him in the mirror. "That is some serious ass you've got goin' on back there. Where have you been hiding that?"

And Blaine nearly pees on the floor.

~0~

"I kind of lost Blaine." Kurt is watching Tina's guilty expression, trying to make sense of her words. How could she have lost Blaine? It's not like the house is that big and that bastard Sebastian is over in the corner trying to chat up Sam. Kurt feels somewhat vindicated that he isn't the only one with wonky gaydar when it comes to Sam. He makes his _please clarify_ face and waits patiently.

"We were outside and I came in to get him some water. When I went back out he was gone."

"Oh God." Now is the time to panic. Blaine could be anywhere. He is seriously impaired and it's storming outside. And Blaine is like a toddler when it comes to snow. Kurt is about to gather up the more sober of his friends to form a search party when Blaine wanders in to the room with Santana and gives Kurt a dopey grin.

"Kurt, I haven't seen you in forever!" he says and buries his face in Kurt's neck. He smells like smoke and toothpaste and Kurt's favourite cologne. "I almost forgot how hot you look."

"Why are you so minty fresh, Babe?"

"Brushed my teeth. Santana's cigars are the devil."

"Way to tattle on me, Bubble Butt. Seriously. It was all his idea. And he only had, like, one puff before choking his ass off."

"It's true." Blaine looks proud of himself for this fact. "My throat is still on fire."

Tina passes Blaine the bottle of water she had gone to find for him and he kisses her on the cheek. "You are truly a Goddess," he says.

"These two ladies here are my new best friends," Blaine tells Kurt and Kurt can't help but laugh because his stupid, drunk boyfriend really is the most adorable thing ever.

"You have very discerning taste," Kurt tells him and Tina and Santana kiss Kurt on either cheek.

"Yay!" Blaine yells. "Let's all dance together!"

And that is how Kurt ends up slow motion grinding to some ridiculous country song about tractors or cabbages or both together, he isn't really sure. And really, who the hell took control of the music while he was mid-panic attack over his possibly missing boyfriend anyway?

But Blaine's got his hands on Kurt's hips and Tina is doing the robot in front of him and Santana, Kurt's pretty sure she is smacking Blaine on the ass because she keeps going on about it being so _round_ while Blaine buries his warm face in the back of Kurt's neck and giggles. Who cares what sort of crappy music is playing? This is the first and last time that Kurt Hummel will ever think such a thing, he tells himself. Because_ tractors_? Really?

~0~

Blaine truly believes, maybe for the first time ever, that New Year's Eve really is the start of something new and potentially wonderful. Everywhere he looks in the room people are smiling and laughing – his friends, Kurt's friends, _their_ friends. Because they totally have the same friends now and that is amazing. Finn and Rachel are being cuddly and adorable and Santana is slow dancing with Brittany and Tina is teaching Quinn and Jeff how to do the robot and Mercedes just pulled Sam away from Sebastian with a divalicious "I do _not_ think so, man whore". And everyone is laughing at that, even Sebastian. See, maybe the magic of the new year can make even Sebastian a good guy. Blaine decides to tell Kurt so and Kurt snorts and pulls Blaine into his lap and _score! _because that is Blaine's favourite place in all the world.

The doorbell is chiming and Finn leaves the room to get it and shit, Blaine really hopes it isn't the cops. He tries to hide his punch behind his back just in case.

But it isn't the cops. It's Blaine's friends. Wes and David come into the living room behind Finn dressed in Gryffindor and Slytherin robes.

"Kurt!" Blaine says. "Look, it's Wes and David. It's a surprise!"

"I know, Baby. It's my surprise for you. I called and invited them."

And God, Blaine really loves Kurt. He hasn't complained about missing Wes and David but he really, really has and Kurt just knows. Kurt always knows when it comes to Blaine and that makes him the best boyfriend of all time. Even now, as Blaine is struggling to get up off of Kurt's lap, Kurt pushes him up by the butt and steadies him so that he doesn't stumble.

"Guys!" Blaine says and hugs them both. "I've missed you so much," he mumbles into David's green and silver tie. The other Warblers gather round to say hello to their former leaders and Kurt makes a crack about Wes and David being sorted into the wrong houses and how they should trade and Wes makes an angry face at him while David laughs.

The conversation drifts to music and the two groups' recent performances, as Wes and David have been out of the loop. Rachel wanders over and watches them all with a haughty air and clears her throat several times before Kurt asks her what it is that she wants.

"I just want to say that I think it's lovely how two rival glee clubs can be such good friends and talk so openly about their inner workings." She pauses for a moment and looks around and Blaine is about to start talking to David about how he and Kurt killed that P!ink number when she starts again.

"Even though Regionals is very soon and they could potentially be trying to steal our set list." She is making her crazy eyes that Kurt sometimes mocks when he's in a silly or mean sort of mood and Blaine wants to laugh but his Warbler friends look so uncomfortable suddenly and that's not cool. They are all here to celebrate the New Year and mostly to celebrate the amazingness of Kurt. There is no room for show choir rivalries when celebrating Kurt.

"Rachel -" Blaine starts, exasperated. He can't just let her be all crazy at his friends.

"It's not our set list they're attempting to steal," Kurt tells her with a disgusted look at Sebastian who is right there standing next to Blaine and when the hell did that happen? "They haven't got a chance at either but yet here they are. Not you, of course," he says to the other Warblers and they try to hide their smiles.

"Oh, I wouldn't say I haven't got a chance," Sebastian says and he gives Blaine one of those creepy smiles like he does and _ew_, Blaine just can't with this guy. What does he have to do before he'll take the hint?

Maybe he needs to be more like Kurt. Blunt. Blaine huffs a laugh. "I would," he says and crawls back onto Kurt's lap.

"I love you," Kurt whispers in his ear and there is just _so much_ in his voice that Blaine can't even form any sort of response. He wishes he had chosen blunt so much earlier and wonders at the relief he can see on Kurt's face. Had he been seriously worried? Blaine needs to tell Kurt, show him how much he means to him. He is everything. He will always be everything.

"Come dance with me," Blaine says. Something slow is playing and he wants nothing more than to be wrapped up in Kurt's body, swaying to the gentle rhythm.

They're still entwined on the dance floor when Quinn begins passing around glasses of champagne and soon everyone is gathered together with the people they love and Puck begins the countdown at twenty five.

"7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!" There are kazoos blowing and streamers and balloons in the air and everyone is laughing and there are lips on Blaine's for the first time ever at the start of a brand new year. Kurt is so warm wrapped around him; his mouth tastes sweet like the punch and Blaine can feel his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as he turns his head to deepen their kiss. Kurt pulls back with a laugh and his eyes are sparkling and almost all of the green stuff has been rubbed off of his lips. He is so beautiful and Blaine loves him and wants to tell him so but they are surrounded by chaos on all sides and Kurt can't hear him when he tries.

Rachel is trying and failing to coax the room into a impromptu performance of _Auld Lang Syne_ and Kurt is laughing into Blaine's neck and everything is happiness and champagne and love when someone yells, "Happy birthday, Kurt!" And suddenly there are bodies, bodies and the arms attached to them trying to pull them apart and _no way_. Blaine hangs on tight and they are both in the air and being hugged sideways and forwards and backwards and Blaine holds on to Kurt's hand with everything that he has.

_This is the best night of my life_, Blaine thinks. He is surrounded by everyone he loves and Kurt is smiling and laughing and then they are kissing while being held up by the boys and their friends are cheering them on. How could anything be better than this?

~0~

After the ruckus dies down Blaine takes Kurt's hand in his and leads him away from the other revellers. He looks almost shy, a tiny smile curling the corners of his mouth and Kurt feels such love in that moment that it makes his heart pick up speed.

They wander down the hall and Blaine stops him outside the closed door of the master bedroom. "Is it okay if we go in there?" he asks, titling his chin towards Kurt's parents' bedroom. "Just on the balcony."

Kurt nods and uses the hand not enclosed in Blaine's to turn the doorknob. "It's going to be cold," he warns and Blaine looks bashful.

"I want to kiss you in the snow," he says. "Like in a movie."

And how can Kurt say no to that? He wonders whatever happened to the Blaine who thought serenading boys in mediocre clothing stores with entirely inappropriate songs was the height of romance. This Blaine, _his_ Blaine is the most romantic guy he knows. Every gesture, every day it just keeps getting better and better.

The snow is still falling steadily, the flakes big and fluffy and shimmering in the lights from the back yard. Blaine leans forward, upper body over the railing and catches a flake on his tongue. He giggles as he turns around, his tongue out to show Kurt his prize as it dissolves away from the heat of his breath. There are more snowflakes caught in his long eyelashes and one falls down onto his cheekbone as he blinks up at Kurt. Kurt lifts a finger to follow its trail as it melts over Blaine's warm skin.

"You're beautiful," Kurt says. "So beautiful."

"That's supposed to be my line," Blaine tells him, his voice quiet and raspy. He pulls Kurt forward and locks their lips together just as the wind picks up and sends the fallen snow whirling around them. Blaine giggles again, trying to shield Kurt's face from the snow. "That was supposed to happen," he says. "It was in the script."

And they're kissing again, closer and deeper and wet and desperate. Kurt is soon clawing at Blaine's jacket and shirts and Blaine is moaning into his mouth. "I'm done with the party," Blaine gasps against Kurt's throat. "So done."

"Uh huh," Kurt agrees. "My room. Bed. Wall. Floor. Somewhere."

~0~

Blaine's freezing hands and mouth and tongue are all over Kurt the second they reach his room.

"Hang on," Kurt gasps and Blaine steps back immediately. He has learned his lesson on that front. _I've never felt less like being intimate with someone and either you can't tell or you just don't care._ The words are burned into his brain. He would rather be boiled in hot oil than to ever make Kurt feel that way about him again. "I've just got to take these contacts out."

"But I love the contacts," Blaine whines. "They're so hot. They've been making me so horny all night, every time you look at me."

Kurt laughs, watching Blaine in the mirror. "Everything has been making you horny all night, you drunken buffoon."

"Hey, you're drunk too!"

"Mmmhmm," Kurt agrees. "That I most certainly am." Blaine is far less saddened by the loss of the contacts when he sees Kurt's own sea-storm eyes shining at him from beneath perfectly arched brows.

"Now where were we?"

It isn't long before they're naked on the bed. Blaine is in heaven, peeling off Kurt's costume and running his mouth everywhere and he can hear the party still carrying on in the distance, muffled by the walls, strange and garbled like he's hearing it from under water. Kurt is mewling and pushing his hips forward and all Blaine wants in the entire world is Kurt's cock right now.

Kurt whines as Blaine pulls away. He rolls over and crawls up on all fours and Kurt is behind him, running soft hands over Blaine's chest and wet lips over his back. "Like this," he tells Kurt. "Just like this."

The lube is cold at first, making him flinch away from Kurt's slender fingers on instinct. Kurt apologizes with a giggle and a kiss to the small of Blaine's back, and when his fingers return to Blaine's ass they are nice and warm and slippery. Blaine wants more right away; one is never enough. He never feels satisfied until he is pushing back, fucking himself on three of Kurt's fingers and waiting, impatient for what's to come. This sensation, this wanting is not new, though everything feels different tonight, like he is floating and in his body both at once. Also he feels hungry and that is just odd.

"What smells like Skittles?"

Kurt laughs. "It's flavoured lube. It's the first bottle I grabbed."

"What's it taste like?" Kurt leans forward and licks a strip of skin next to where his fingers are pumping in and out of Blaine's ass and Blaine gasps because oh, that was amazing. "Oh God, do that again," he pleads. There is a silent moment, Kurt's fingers have stopped opening him up and he is just sitting there behind Blaine with his feet tucked under him and Blaine is worried that he has freaked Kurt out. It's not something they've ever even discussed before, let alone done, and maybe Kurt is repulsed by the very idea. He pulls his fingers out and Blaine feels something akin to panic fluttering in his stomach. He opens his mouth to say something, apologize, but he's at a loss for words.

But then he feels hot breath and the swipe of Kurt's tongue from his balls all the way up the crack of his ass and he can't stop the guttural sound that leaves his mouth. It's soft and wet and it tingles and feels _so fucking good_. And Kurt's tongue is there again, teasing him, flicking lightly over his hole and fuck, he grasps the base of his cock so he doesn't come. Kurt's hands slide up and hold his cheeks apart. Someone is repeating _yes, yes_ amidst broken moans and Blaine realizes that it's him. And Kurt's face is pressed up against his ass and his tongue is inside, firm and wet, and Blaine feels like he's going to die and in the very best of ways.

"Oh God, _yes_. Fuck me with your tongue," Blaine whimpers and Kurt holds his ass cheeks in a hard grip as he thrusts his tongue in and out. It's so good, so good, but Blaine wants more, _needs_ more. "In me, _please_. Kurt. In, in." And Kurt removes his perfect tongue and there is lube and saliva all over Blaine's ass and dripping down onto his balls and he feels like crying.

Kurt leans over for a condom and Blaine's reaches a hand out to stop him. "Can we... ? It's safe. I just..." He just really wants Kurt bare against him. Really wants to feel him. Really wants to feel it when he comes.

"It's gonna be messy, Babe," Kurt says and he's already lubing up his bare cock and it smells like Skittles and God, Blaine really, really wants it messy.

"_Good_," he moans as Kurt presses the tip of his cock against his hole. "Want your come." But Kurt is only teasing him, rubbing against his ass, one hand stroking Blaine's cock so lightly it's barely a touch. "In, in," Blaine whines again. He feels so desperate, so needy and then Kurt is pushing inside and Blaine sobs brokenly, so full and the stretch and Kurt's cock in him is the most perfect thing he has ever felt in his entire life.

Kurt is sliding in and out languidly, gasping each time he bottoms out and it's so slick and amazing but Blaine wants to be fucked tonight, wants it harder and faster. He pushes back as Kurt thrusts in, forcing him deeper. Kurt gets it immediately and Blaine, fuck, _he loves Kurt_, and soon he can't even hold himself up with the force of Kurt's thrusts. He lays his head down on the bed, his arms splayed out above him, his ass pushed into the air, his chest heaving against the sheets. His knees are shaking and Kurt is holding him up, his hands gripped around Blaine's hips as he pounds into him.

"Blaine, _Blaine_," Kurt moans and Blaine feels a sweaty hand slide around his hip and long fingers wrap around his cock, rhythmically pumping him and he's going to come soon, so soon. "Oh, Baby, not gonna last like this," Kurt says. "You feel so good."

Blaine doesn't even care how long it lasts at this point. He just wants to feel Kurt come, wants to feel how good it is for him. "_Come in me_." And, fuck, that puts him over the edge, and he's soon thrusting, erratic, into the tightness of Kurt's hot fist and they are keening together and Blaine wants to laugh because it's like some sort of beautiful duet.

Kurt lets go of Blaine's cock and he feels his own come spread over his hip as Kurt grabs him and thrusts in as deep as he can and his voice goes so low it almost sounds like a growl. And Blaine can feel it – hot and wet and it's even better than he imagined it would be, all of those times when he had gotten off to the fantasy of this, alone in his bed under cover of darkness. Kurt slides in and out a few more times, slowly, and it's so wet now, slippery with Kurt's come.

He whimpers when Kurt pulls out, come dripping down his crack and onto his balls. Kurt pulls him gently down on the bed and wraps them together, arms and legs and chests pressed close, and Blaine feels Kurt's lips against his sweaty forehead and then his eyelids.

"Happy birthday," Blaine manages to say. Kurt laughs and it's throaty and Blaine's cock gives a little twitch at the sound.

"Love you," Kurt whispers against his cheek.

Blaine's lips form the words, return the sentiment, and then he's drifting under and away, losing himself to sleep.


	4. Three

****Well, this is it. Please let me know what you thought of my silly little fic. Happy Holidays everyone!

(I still don't own Glee.)

~0~

**~Three: And in the morning...~**

Kurt knows what they've done the next morning not because he remembers, at least not all at once, but because there is dried come literally everywhere and especially on the insides of Blaine's splayed thighs.

He sits up slowly, awaiting the oncoming headrush and nausea only to find he doesn't feel too bad. His stomach is kind of burning like he's eaten a Finn-sized portion of hot wings and they are torching him from within and he has a horrific case of cotton mouth, but other than that he's functional. He glances down at Blaine next to him, lying prone and snoring lightly, his head turned to the side, face towards Kurt. His lips are pursed like he's waiting to be kissed, his long dark lashes fluttering against his cheekbones. Kurt bends down and kisses Blaine's puckered lips before stretching back out next to him.

He lets his eyes fall shut and is thinking about drifting off again when he hears Blaine's scratchy voice. "Bareback last night, huh?"

Kurt's eyes fly open and study Blaine's face. "Do you remember?"

"Mmhmm," he says. "M'all squishy." He's twisting his hips back and forth with his nose scrunched up.

"Gross. Wanna go take a shower?"

"Nah. Not yet. I don't mind." He lets his eyes flutter shut again and it's silent for so long that Kurt thinks maybe he's fallen back to sleep. "Is that weird?"

"Is what weird?"

"That I, you know, like that." Blaine's cheeks are flushed and when his eyes open again he looks nervous like he's embarrassed and worried about being judged.

"Course not," Kurt reassures. "You okay? I think we did it kinda rough."

"Yeah, not sore. Well a little, but the good kind of sore. And also there's the gut rot and pounding headache, but that's probably not from the sex."

"I will go fetch you water and painkillers, my love," Kurt says with a laugh and pets Blaine's wild curls.

Blaine pouts and makes a puppy whine. "But that means you have to leave me."

"Never, Baby. Never," Kurt says and presses kisses all over Blaine's hair.

"I love it when you call me that."

"I know. That's why I do it."

Blaine is humming contentedly and snuggling against him and Kurt could be happy here forever, even hungover and covered in dried come.

When they are showered and have taken their painkillers and can no longer wait for coffee, they venture out into the house at large. There are bodies everywhere, sleeping on every available surface, some with blankets and others huddled together to keep warm.

"Why the hell didn't anyone go home last night?" Kurt asks. "Puck made sure they all had a way home before they started drinking. Right?"

Blaine shrugs. Kurt should know better than to direct the question towards him seeing as Blaine himself had started eating the rum-drenched fruit at around four o'clock in the afternoon and was in no way capable of keeping anyone from drinking anything by the time the guests had arrived.

When they step over Nick and Jeff curled up in front of the entry to the kitchen, they understand why the house looks like an overcrowded youth drop-in centre. Outside the window there is nothing but white as far as the eye can see.

"Damn. Good thing we have lots of food."

~0~

Blaine has just put the seventh pot of coffee on when the final person drags themselves into the kitchen.

"Do I smell pancakes?" David asks around a yawn, Slytherin tie wrapped around his head.

"Yes," Rachel answers. "The pancakes on the electric griddle by Kurt are regular ones with eggs and the ones I've got here are vegan, if you'd prefer."

"God, her voice is like a spike being driven into my eyeballs. Won't someone shut her up?" Santana is comforted by an ashen Brittany while Rachel narrows her eyes and turns away to flip her vegan pancakes.

"I'm good with whatever," David says, looking nervously between the two girls. "I just need something in my stomach. That was one crazy party last night, Kurt. And I've been to my fair share since September."

"Damn straight," Artie agrees and meets Puck's halfhearted bro-fist. "I feel like I only went to sleep a couple hours ago."

"Dude, that's because you did go to sleep two hours ago."

"Are you serious? You guys were up that late?" Blaine asks as he fills a mug with coffee and passes it to a grateful Quinn. "Go back to bed."

"We was in it for the long haul," Santana says. She is eyeing Blaine like the cat that ate the canary, she even has Brittany's costume kitty ears perched on the top of her head. "You, on the other hand, snuck away awfully quickly after the stroke of midnight, Cinderella. What were you and your boy up to? Scared you were gonna turn into a pumpkin?"

Everyone's eyes are on Blaine and Kurt turns away to pour more batter onto the griddle._ Avoid, avoid,_ _avoid._ He had hoped they were all too drunk to notice.

"That's not really your business," Blaine says, and _wrong answer_. Kurt shuts his eyes and waits for the axe to fall.

"Not my business?" Santana says. Kurt can practically hear her swagger. "Last night you peed in front of me."

"Oh, God," Kurt says under his breath.

And Santana is continuing. "I saw your front _and_ your back – which is very nice, congrats to you, Lady Face – _and_ you told me that you swallow. Pretty sure that basically makes us BFF, and best friends tell each other everything."

"I can't believe you watched me in the mirror. I didn't watch you pee!"

"No, you were too busy waxing poetic about the engagement toothbrush that your boyfriend bought you. Otherwise you would have totally creeped on me. You love you some lady parts when you're drunk, Bubble Butt."

"That was one time! It was just a kiss, no lady parts were involved! Are you people ever going to let me live that down?"

The mention of Rachel and that horrible party is the straw that breaks the camel's back, as they say, and Kurt turns abruptly wielding his spatula like a weapon. "Oh my God, Santana! Leave Blaine alone. We went to bed, alright? Fill in the blanks however you see fit. Are you satisfied?"

"Not as satisfied as your tender-tushied cohort probably is." Kurt rolls his eyes and turns back toward his soon-to-be-charred pancakes hearing a derisive guffaw coming from the direction of the table.

"Were you listening at the door or something?" Blaine exclaims and Kurt whips back around to chastise him as Santana laughs and shakes her head. "Did I scream really loudly? Am I walking funny?" Seriously, is Blaine still drunk? Does he want everyone to know what they were doing last night? But Blaine doesn't look drunk, only red-faced and a little smug and _oh_, Kurt gets it. It was Sebastian who made that derisive noise. Because Kurt and his gay face could _never_ satisfy Blaine. Blaine wants to make sure Sebastian knows. Kurt catches sight of Sebastian in his peripheral vision and, yeah, Blaine seems to have made his point if the look on his face is anything to go by.

"Stop making Kurt mad," Finn complains a moment too late, his voice muffled by his own arms and the tabletop that he is faceplanted on.

"Yeah, dude. It's his birthday," Puck agrees.

"That too. But he sorta yells and I feel like I'm gonna puke as it is."

"If you start a puke-o-rama in here, Finn Hudson, I will quarter you and burn the pieces in the firepit. Maybe the warmth from the flames will melt the frozen beer off of the deck."

"Nnngh," Finn mumbles into the tabletop.

"Please stop saying the word puke," Trent pleads from where he is seated on the floor with his head in his hands.

"And beer," Mike agrees, rubbing his middle.

Tina comes over for some pancakes and Blaine tops up her mug of coffee. Kurt catches the little wink she throws Blaine before going up on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. He laughs quietly in response to whatever she said and she pecks him on the cheek.

"Later," he says when Kurt raises a questioning eyebrow.

~0~

"It's later," Kurt says when they've said goodbye to the last car of guests. The roads had finally been cleared and Kurt was ridiculously relieved to send them all packing. He loves his friends but he wants nothing more than to put his pyjamas on and cuddle with his boyfriend for the rest of the day and night before his parents come home and Blaine has to leave. Blaine has taken advantage of Kurt's pleasure at having the house to themselves and convinced him to order an overabundance of MSG laden food from the local Chinese restaurant.

"What?" Blaine looks up from the fortune cookie he'd just broken apart, the small slip of white paper clasped between his fingers.

"What did Tina give you a kiss for? And you're supposed to save the cookies until the end of the meal."

"Oh," he says with a chuckle. "Nothing really. We were just talking last night about what a creep Sebastian is and she liked the way I, well, this morning." Blaine's face is bright red again and he looks incredulous.

"I can't believe you said that in front of everyone either."

Blaine laughs. "Ah, I doubt they cared or will even remember. Most everyone was still pretty wrecked. Anyway – Tina just said she thought I was awesome and she was dreading next year a whole lot less now."

"What does that mean?"

"We were talking about how next year we would be together at McKinley without you and Mike and how we could be friends to keep each other from almost certain depression."

"Aww, honey." Kurt pulls Blaine into his embrace and kisses his hair. "It'll go by quickly. And I'll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Spring Break. And maybe you can come visit me for long weekends or something in between. And, hell, I might not even get into any of my New York schools anyway."

"You will," Blaine reassures. "You're too amazing not to. And I will come and visit. But that doesn't mean I won't miss you every single day."

"I'll miss you every day, too. God, it's going to be so hard. But we'll Skype a lot, because I won't be able to stand not seeing you all the time."

"Of course." Blaine's expression turns mischievous and he snuggles further into Kurt's side. "Will you have Skype sex with me?"

"Hell yes I will. You naked on my computer screen? Second best thing to having you in my arms."

Blaine laughs into Kurt's skin where his shoulder meets his neck."I love you," he whispers.

"I love you, too. This is going to be an amazing year, Blaine. For both of us."

"I know it is," Blaine says, sounding suddenly sure of himself. "The cookie just told me."

"Well, I wouldn't normally put a lot of stock in the promises of cookies, but I will make an exception just this once."


End file.
